I was going to do a cute little Halloween craft post, but I kept thinking about this subject more.
This post is for those in a relationship, whether you’re younger or older, whether you’ve been dating forever or married for a while.
We all know couples that break up or get a divorce after 5, 7, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 years of being together, often when on the surface things seemed to be going well. I know that every relationship is unique, and that as outside observers, we never have all the information. Each couple has their own reasons. It’s common to hear things like, “We have nothing to talk about,” “I’m not attracted to you anymore,” or “You’ve changed.” But sometimes we may see a breakup and wonder if there was anything they could have done to save their relationship.
Before I share something that helped me save my own marriage, let me say that no one should feel like they need to stay in an abusive relationship (be it mental, physical, verbal, or emotional). So, if we take those awful situations out of the equation, what can we do when we are struggling to keep that flame burning? Whether it has burned out recently or things have been cool for a long time, how can we mend relationships?
I talked to a couple of therapists, and they both said the vast majority of divorces were due to lack of interest in each other, money, lack of sex, no attraction, partners wanting different things, having different goals… you get the idea.
This is a real issue. All we hear about now is “treat yourself, be good to yourself, you deserve to be happy, you deserve more,” but do we also think of our partners? Is there give and take? Are we willing to share? If we have kids, are we not able to be more flexible and accommodating to them? Do we love our partners as much as our kids? Do we love them more? Should we love them more??
So, a few months ago I received a call from a friend who had been divorced for a year and a half and was ready to start dating again. He asked that I give him a makeover and get him ready for the dating market. So I did. We talked about his diet, weight loss, an exercise routine, a new hair cut, brightening teeth, cleaner skin, outfits, all the way down to his fingernails!
After I styled him up, I thought to myself, “If I were going to leave my husband now, what would I do differently to make myself more attractive and feel better about myself? How would I change my personality and the way I speak to others? Would I be more aware of my mistakes and weaknesses and try hard not to repeat them?” I thought about those questions and decided to take action.
So, my hubby and I have been doing this for 6 months now. And it’s been amazing. We are each putting our best foot forward. We lost weight, eat healthier, dress better for each other, and help each other out more. And you know what? I feel sexier, healthier, and sooo much happier.
We are making a conscious effort to date each other. It’s made us so much stronger as a couple and an awesome example for our kids who watch and pay attention to how we feel!
Let’s do this in our relationships NOW. This second. We need to date our partners all the time. Right?
So, Friday night is almost here. Get gussied up and go on a date. Remember, it doesn’t matter what age you are. Just do it!!
Maybe some of you folks are already doing this. We want to know your relationship tricks in the comments below! So spill it. 🙂 We want to hear from you!!