Holiday time can be a very emotional and stressful time for couples. You’re changing your day-to-day routines, making countless decisions, looking for good deals, our perfectionism is in full swing, and we are spending a lot of money. There are few things more volatile than expenses in a relationship, and because decorating and gifts are not a necessity, setting expectations ahead of time is important. COMMUNICATE!! And come to an agreement about the basic things such as gifts, budget, and decorations. Then go from there.
A lot of folks build up a huge stress over finding the “perfect gift” for someone special. The worry isn’t worth it! Simply ask in advance, have them give you a list, or better yet, give them the gift of your time by planning a special day with them!
Do you hate your husband’s holiday decor/style? If you want him to get rid of things, you need to do the same. There has to be a clear give-and-take, so no one feels that they’re being pushed out or ignored. Learn to compromise. In a relationship, you both bring your own unique things to the party. You may not love his colored tree lights, or tall scandalous fishnet stocking leg lamp in your front window, but he might not love your extra fluffy faux fur pillows (that now contain missing Lego pieces) either.
Don’t confuse relationship issues with silly holiday dilemmas. Folks are overworked, tired, and frustrated during holiday times. Setting up your outdoor lights, buying gifts or tree decorating shouldn’t build into an argument over whose extended family is worse. Remember that you are likely stressed and exhausted, and you might just need to put yourself on time out for a while to calm down.
As much as you want everything to fall perfectly into place, and have your home be a magical holiday wonderland, life just isn’t designed to be that perfect. Create an environment that reflects both of you together. If you have kids, they will feel your love and be calm with you. If you and your spouse are at each other’s throats, kids can feel that tension and act out too. When the adults have open communication, set realistic expectations, and are willing to compromise and roll with all the hiccups that will happen, you can have a home filled with love and respect for everyone who comes there.
P.S. Guys, if you’re looking for an awesome gift idea for your wife, tell her how much you love her by your actions… tidy up the house, find a babysitter, give her time to get ready, and take her out! If you plan it all, you can’t go wrong.
What do you do to keep the “Peace On Earth” in your home during the holidays? We want to know!! Share your favorite tips in the comments below.