Beautiful on the Inside,Making HerStory

Perfectly Imperfect is Perfect

Did you know self-doubt is the BIGGEST hurdle to success?  Far too many of us are too afraid of taking a leap for the fear of revealing our own imperfection…

I’m just going to say it!  I screw up all the time.  At home, at work, with family and with friends.  I’m not going to lie: it sucks!  I do it often enough that it’s annoying.  And it will never stop. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  I’M OK WITH THAT NOW!  In today’s world, all we see is BEAUTIFUL.  So of-course, how can we not feel like we need to be or appear perfect.

I realized that if I was brave enough to try it and go for it, then I was better than I was before.  I mean, I’m running a blog (and have no idea what I’m doing yet), while working as a Creative Art Director, a Mom, and a Wife, and while dealing with a disability (that is SUPER annoying).

I remember before I had kids, I was freaking out because I was worried that I wasn’t going to be smart enough to be a mom.  My educational experience was incredibly challenging.  How can I possibly teach kids?!?  I’m not able to help my kids with their school work.  I can’t spell. I don’t understand grammar.  My brain can’t memorize information.  I never learned fractions or anything past that as far as math is concerned (I just in the last year got the hang of measuring with a ruler, for heaven’s sake!).

My “I can’t” list goes on and on.  But I realized something: who gives a s***!  Honestly!  I’ve got other things to teach my kids.  Somebody else can help them with their schoolwork.  I decided to stop thinking about what I can’t do, slow down and embrace the things that I can share with them.  LIVE with them and just simply enjoy each moment, instead of worrying.  Thank heavens for google, spellcheck and my husband who I call or text from work asking him math questions or asking for help with writing an email.  He fixes all my stuff for the blog!

Who cares, right?!?  I know it’s easier said than done.  It’s very hard to do things that don’t come easy.  But I say to myself, “Go for it!  Take action and be BRAVE!  Be perfect at being brave!  Slow down and live in the moment and look around at what you have right now.  Instead of beating myself up for just getting the hang of measurements, I should instead see my perfection in always trying, again and again, how that’s made me grow, and made me into an even better person today than I was yesterday.”

The other stain of perfectionism is not being able to enjoy the here and now.  Perfectionist look to the future and say “I’ll be happy when…”  They are always trying to fix it, and it’s never enough.  We should focus on ways to love, accept and acknowledge ourselves for the better people we are trying to become each day.  Instead of being a more perfect person, I can be a better person to myself and to those around me because I know that what I am and what I have is enough RIGHT NOW.

I wanted to share a list of some cute ideas (that I found in my kids church magazine “The Friend”) that I know I could work harder on.

Illustration by Loni Harris

And… Who doesn’t love a good Ted Talk on perfection!

How do you deal with that voice in your head that still tells you (from time to time) that you need to be perfect?




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  • Sarah Hogan
    March 14, 2017 at 6:01 am

    I love this!!!! It’s such a great reminder! Thanks Melessa!!

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 7:02 am

      The one I keep saying to myself is, “I am enough!” 🙂

  • Lillian
    March 14, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Agreed! I hate that we see others best efforts and compare it to our bad or mediocre days. Let’s just do what we can and be okay with it!

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 7:06 am


  • Leann
    March 14, 2017 at 7:07 am

    This is just what I needed to hear! I’m way too hard on myself! Thanks so much!

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 7:09 am

      It really takes the load off when you come to realize that you are enough right now!

  • janahogan
    March 14, 2017 at 8:17 am

    I needed this reminder. Great post and great Ted talk!!

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 8:30 am

      It makes me feel really good too!

  • Natalie
    March 14, 2017 at 11:23 am

    I’m the kind of perfectionist that is so afraid of not being perfect that I’m afraid to even start something new and challenging. I’d really like to figure out how to focus on right now, appreciate today, and not be afraid of that first step…

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      It’s hard to feel brave and just go for it. Remember, who cares if it doesn’t work out, just trying it is what’s going to make you stronger.

  • Brenda Jo Paynter
    March 14, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Living with the circumstances dealt to me personally which are uniquely mine, and many which I have chosen, allows me to direct my present to achieve my dreams without looking over my shoulder at someone else’s circumstances with envy. My future as an eternal being gives me time to keep trying. I can take my time as long as I stay on track. Contentment is knowing my worth to God and the potential he provides. We all hear a different drummer.
    Melessa, I congratulate you for keeping up with YOUR beat.

    • Melessa
      March 14, 2017 at 6:59 pm

      I like how you said, “I can take my time as long as I stay on track.” Well said! Thank you!

  • Allison T.
    March 15, 2017 at 5:33 am

    Not one of us here on earth is perfect and that is part of our challenge as we live life and the experiences it gives. Embrace the gifts that have been given to You because You have many!

    • Melessa
      March 16, 2017 at 12:14 pm

      Thanks for your good feedback!

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