Why I Postponed Opening Presents on Christmas Day & How My Kids Got Through It

This Christmas ended up being one of my very favorites of all time and I’ll tell you why…

First off, in our house Christmas isn’t about the presents. It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.  So, we didn’t delay Christmas at all.  What we DID delay was the tradition of opening presents on Christmas morning.  Our 10-year-old really had a tough time with it and ended up crying himself to sleep on Christmas Eve. Poor guy.

Now before you go off thinking that I am an incredibly cruel witch for letting my son cry himself to sleep on Christmas Eve, let’s back up to what caused what will come to be known as “The Great Christmas Present Delay of 2018.”

At our house, I don’t look at the time leading up to Christmas like Mardi Gras or Carnival.  Just because school is out and you’re excited about the upcoming holiday, that fact doesn’t give you an excuse to go bananas and act the fool.  Also, just because we have a tradition of gift-giving, you are not entitled to every crazy overpriced gift on your Christmas list.

So, with that in mind, a few months before Christmas we had some long conversations with our boys.  We tried to help them understand that given the fact that they are older now we needed to see some improvements in their behavior.  We needed to see more honesty, more kindness, more forgiveness, and less teasing, fighting, hitting, name-calling, etc., Oh, and any sass or backtalk to parents and adults just needed to stop.

Just like all kids, we were seeing good days and bad days, but it seemed that going into November things actually started to escalate.  I was quick to remind my boys that I would not be rewarding poor behavior.

Jumping forward to the weekend before Christmas, Nate and I had just wrapped up a crazy catalog season for me at work and a busy time at work and a tough semester at school for him and we were on cloud nine and ready for a blissful and much needed break from work and school.  We planned a fun Saturday to kick off a weeklong stay-cation that involved going out to lunch, treats, a movie at the theater, and a trip to a Christmas market to see Christmas lights and fireworks.

Now, please understand.  Our boys don’t get screen-time during the week, so they feel like they need to binge on Friday night and Saturday.  So anything that interferes with screen-time on Fridays and Saturdays causes our boys some serious heartburn.  Because both mom and dad work this is the best way for our family to manage screen-time for our boys. They totally hate it (and at times, hate us) but honestly, I don’t care.

So, we thought that our boys would be pretty excited about the day we had planned, but guess what?  They complained THE ENTIRE DAY because all they wanted to do was play video games.  My favorite quote of the day from one of my boys was, “We’re on vacation too and we should be able to do what we want!” When we got back from our day out they got into a screaming match regarding who’s turn it was to play the xbox.

I’d had it!  They bit the hand!  It was on, now!

Now, I could have taken this to a new level of cruelty and not given them a heads up that there would not be presents to open on Christmas morning, and then recorded them having a complete meltdown and then put that up on Facebook for all to see, but I decided that would have taken things a bit too far.  But it was VERY tempting! Instead, I let them know that their behavior had been unacceptable and that it would not be rewarded with presents on Christmas morning.  I also let them know that their behavior would determine whether or not their presents would be returned.

The next three days their behavior was OUTSTANDING!!! Sometimes even super heartwarming! The boys even volunteered to play Christmas carols on the piano while the adults sang along.  They did such a wonderful job. Their cousins joined in as well, and we even got a few tears out of the adults. It was AWESOME! Christmas day was magical! They were exceptional helpers. Their hearts were in the right place. Christmas morning we had a lesson on mercy. They also learned that mom and dad aren’t all talk; they are going to follow through! 

Eventually, we had the boys open up their presents. We made it very clear that if the poor behavior returned, the presents would be the first thing to go. They didn’t get everything they asked for, but they seemed to appreciate what they did receive a little more.  

 Since then, the boys have been doing pretty good with their behavior (knock on wood).  Here’s hoping that we’ve turned a corner.  It’s been a lot more peaceful and they have been much more patient with each other.  

 My kids now understand that I will not reward bad behavior.  It doesn’t matter if it’s Christmas, or a birthday.  You don’t get a pass. Everyone should be treated with kindness and respect at all times (especially when it’s your family).  It was a sacrifice that I was willing to make and I hope that it is a lesson that will stick with them.  One thing is for sure: they will never forget Christmas 2018! ?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

XOXO

Melessa